I am THRILLED to announce that I have written a guest blog on www.whattoexpect.com. Here’s the link for you to check it out! (If it doesn’t take you directly to the blog, highlight it, copy it and then paste it into your browser.)
Let me know what you think!
I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY STRONG-WILLED CHILD
“This is my strong-willed child. The one I was telling you about.”
• When you read those two sentences it is very important that you get the right voice inflection. Typically the parent’s tone and body language are shouting, “This is the kid who makes me nuts! I’m totally exasperated and wondering what I did to deserve this child!!!”
• The question remains, is this exasperating child truly strong-willed? Many times an undisciplined child is classified as strong-willed simply because that child has control of the household.
• There are several characteristics commonly found in strong-willed children. They live in a black-and-white world with very little tolerance for grey areas. A strong-willed child appears confident. These kids are not simply defiant. They can actually be very charming. Their persistence exceeds that of most adults. They are gifted in manipulation and ready, willing and able to cause an emotional upset to gain control.
• There is a paradox that needs to be understood by every adult who loves a strong-willed. The strong-willed child who is straining and striving and battling for control actually wants the parent to be in control.
• The Take Away for every parent is actually a question. Do you love your child enough to maintain control?
Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands that they may have something to share with those in need.
It’s time for another listener question. “I’m almost sure my 12 year old daughter stole money from my purse. What should I do?”
- Begin by telling your daughter you’re missing some money. Take that approach. Assume that if she did take it, she intended it as a loan to be repaid.
- If she says she “borrowed” the money, let her know she needs to ask you in the future. Simply taking the money from your purse causes problems. That’s easy to explain – if you think you have a certain amount and you don’t, you could come up short trying to pay for something.
- If she says she didn’t take it, you’ll have to accept that as the truth. You indicated you weren’t 100% sure she took money from your purse, so you’ll need to give her the benefit of the doubt.
- Be alert to the possibility that she isn’t telling the truth. If that’s the case, she will probably repeat the offense. Until further notice, trust your daughter and her word.
- Take-Away? If your daughter did steal money from you, now is the time to have a serious discussion about the consequences you will deliver as the parent and the consequences from others (including the law) if the behavior continues.