"Feelings can be so intoxicating they can sometimes keep teens from recognizing warning signs," (Patti Faughn, University of Illinois)

How can you help your child make good decisions about dating relationships?

• As your child is maturing and getting closer and closer to the age when she is considering dating, take advantage of opportunities to underline the characteristics that are to be valued and admired in others.
• Dr. John Van Epp, author of the book "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk(ette), suggests several questions parents can ask their teens.
  1. How well do you know this person?
  2. Can you trust this person?
  3. Can you rely on this person?
  4. How committed are you to this person?
• These questions are in ascending order. When you engage your child to discuss any or all of these issues, be certain that you are ready to listen. If you come into the conversation with the goal of putting a stop to a relationship, that will be detected almost immediately and will potentially make your child overly defensive.
• If your high schooler became acquainted with the other person at camp or over the internet, that is probably too one-dimensional to accurately claim that this person is known well. It is important to know and observe the other person in several settings and situations. Help your teen realize that it is also beneficial to know the person's family.
• Explain that trust is something that is built over time as one person gets to know another. It should not be extended hurriedly or foolishly. Step one, know the person well. Step two, extend trust.
• Only after it has been determined that your child knows and can trust this person, will she then be able to rely on him. Step three, reliance.
• Finally, after the other questions are honestly answered, your child will be able to determine if a level of commitment is healthy and logical. Step four, some degree of commitment.
• When you discuss these questions unemotionally and look for feedback from your high schooler, you will go a long way to help your child determine the appropriate degree of commitment.