“…Children who are encouraged to take reasonable, safe risks – with the guidance and support of their parents as they leave their comfort zone – tend to grow in confidence, are willing to make mistakes and use each failure as an education.” (Richard Asa, Chicago Tribune, January 1, 2012) 
 
What do you think about allowing kids to take “reasonable, safe risks”?

• It’s been my experience that the children who were encouraged to “leave their comfort zone” found that they were able to accomplish things they never imagined.
• “Safe risks” that stretch kids truly do build confidence.
• One of the interesting compliments I got one time went like this: You think I can do things I don’t think I can do. But because you think I can, I try and I’m successful!” That’s one thing a parent or other responsible adult can do for a child.
• Our three sons grew up in a small country church and attended a high school of fewer than 500 students.  In both of those settings, they were able to take “safe risks when it came to being involved in music and in athletics.
• Other examples of “safe risks” might be taking part in community theater, signing up for the Scholastic Bowl at school,  getting involved in a club, taking lessons – music, karate, horseback riding, etc.

The New Year is generally a time of resolutions and goal setting. Everyone wants to lose weight, have a more disciplined quiet time, or find a new job. “We’re all trying to better ourselves, start fresh, have a clean slate in the coming year.

How about our relationships with our children? Don’t they also deserve a fresh start in the New Year?” 

• I recently heard a mother on national television proclaim that her resolution was to “be a better mom in 2012.”
• Undoubtedly more than one mom can relate to that thought. It isn’t bad idea, but it is a goal that will probably not be reached. 

For many teenagers, attending parties and meeting friends is an important part of their social development.  Parties can be positive and fun, but parents are often concerned about parties getting out of hand.

So with that in mind, what should parents know before giving permission for their teenager to attend a party?

• According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, parents need to realize that:
  1. News about a party spreads quickly via social networking, which means these parties can grow too large for parents to control.
  2. Teen parties often start late at night and move from house to house.
• Both of these factors are very different from the experience most parents had as teenagers.

With that as background information, what questions should parents be asking?

“Dr. Barbara Howard, an assistant professor of pediatrics at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine suggested that the whole “manners” concept might seem a little out of date—until you recast it as “social skills,” a very hot term today. Social skills are necessary for school success, she pointed out; they affect how you do on the playground, in the classroom, in the workplace.”

After personally observing more than one rude child and the mortified parent, I thought that it might be a good idea to address this issue before the holiday season begins.

Here's how I would recommend parents respond when their child has been rude to another adult.

Most parents are interested in having meaningful conversation with their children. However, the challenge for parents is developing the art of being good listners.

What do parents need to know about the art of listening?

• One primary component is to be available for your child. Most meaningful conversation occurs person-to-person. If you’re trying to connect simply by texting or on the phone, be assured you’re going to miss opportunities for true communication. 
• So much of our communication is non-verbal.  In texting you miss both the tone and the body language. In phone conversations you can hear the tone, but still miss the body language.

OK, so parents are “on location” ready for that important conversation, now what?

No parent wants his child to lie. The hope is that Mom and Dad can trust every word that comes from the lips of their offspring. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. So if lying is, in a sense, inevitable, let’s take a look at what a parent can do to minimize the possibilities and get  “The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.”

The first step is to look at why kids choose to lie.

• Young kids are story-tellers for amusement.  Until about the age of 5, kids enjoy making up and hearing pretend stories. There is very little harm here unless the child blurrs fact and fiction. A child as young as 3 years knows the difference between the truth and a lie.
• Older kids have a different motivation for lying. They do not lie for fun. Instead their lies are usually self-serving.
  • They lie to get out of doing some chore or assignment (like cleaning their room…”I have to go to practice right now and I won’t have time to clean my room.”)
  • Or older kids (teens and tweens) lie to avoid a consequence for their actions. (like “I know you told me not to go swimming. I didn’t jump into the pool. I was pushed in.”)
  • A more difficult situation is when kids choose to lie to get attention or when they have no conscience about lying and no remorse for choosing to lie.