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The New Year is generally a time of resolutions and goal setting. Everyone wants to lose weight, have a more disciplined quiet time, or find a new job. “We’re all trying to better ourselves, start fresh, have a clean slate in the coming year.
How about our relationships with our children? Don’t they also deserve a fresh start in the New Year?”
- I recently heard a mother on national television proclaim that her resolution was to “be a better mom in 2012.”
- Undoubtedly more than one mom can relate to that thought. It isn’t bad idea, but it is a goal that will probably not be reached.
Why do I say that? What problems do I see?
- While I applaud her desire to change, it isn’t enough to simply declare she’s going to “be a better mom.”
- Acknowledging that something needs to change is a great first step, but it’s only the first step.
Here’s how I might alter this resolution so that change might actually occur: Resolutions that actually bring about change need to pass the S.A.M. test. They have to be Specific, Attainable and Measurable.
Specifically, what is “better” when it comes to motherhood? How is that measured? And since we can’t really define or measure “being a better mom,” how can we know if it has been attained?
- At one point while our boys were young I had a home-based business. When I prayerfully considered how to live out the rather arbitrary goal to be a better mom I realized how I could make it more specific.
- I had a bad habit of being on the phone when the boys came home from school. I would hang up in a few minutes, but I realized I was missing a great opportunity to ask them about their day while they were still enthused.
- My resolution became: I will make business calls while the boys are at school and will be finished at least 5 minutes before they arrive home so we can connect right away.
- For you moms today, that might mean texting, blogging, or posting on Facebook while your kids are at school and being finished at least 5 minutes before the kids get home so that they have all your attention when they arrive.
- It is S.pecific. It is M.easureable. It is Attainable.
Did my resolution make me a “better mom”? It definitely made me a more accessible one and it helped me connect with my children. And it was Specific, Attainable, and Measurable. I could evaluate my progress.
When resolutions are too grandiose, poorly defined, or difficult to evaluate, they are doomed for failure. The key to making resolutions that may come to pass is to make certain they pass the S.A.M. test!
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