Most parents are interested in having meaningful conversation with their children. However, the challenge for parents is developing the art of being good listners.

What do parents need to know about the art of listening?

• One primary component is to be available for your child. Most meaningful conversation occurs person-to-person. If you’re trying to connect simply by texting or on the phone, be assured you’re going to miss opportunities for true communication. 
• So much of our communication is non-verbal.  In texting you miss both the tone and the body language. In phone conversations you can hear the tone, but still miss the body language.

OK, so parents are “on location” ready for that important conversation, now what?

• The type of communication we’re discussing cannot be forced. It is more likely to happen when parent and child are casually spending time together.
•  Working together or playing together provide wonderful opportunities for just such a conversation.
• Allow your child to initiate.The parent’s responsibility is to respond remembering the goal is to continue the conversation, not to begin a lecture.

If a parent isn’t supposed to chime in with helpful advice, what can he or she do?

• Saying nothing is many times most appropriate. Be a listener and simply encourage your child to continue by being engaged (not multi-tasking) and offering short encouragements to continue talking.
• Phrases like “I see,” or “Go on,” are more productive than offering your opinion or advice.
• When your child has come to the end of his or her sharing, you can repeat what you’ve heard and ask if you are understanding the situation correctly.
• Then (and this is important) ask the child what they are thinking about doing to remedy the situation.
• If you know of resources that can help your teenager or tween with a solution, share that info. The neutral resource will provide you someone else’s thoughts to discuss with your child.